Back in late 2006, when the movie “The Secret” was the hottest thing since the folded napkin, I didn’t catch the fever right away. I had been going through a really bad breakup, so my mindset was preoccupied. Also due to that same breakup, I eschewed TV in favor of diving into self-help books and audios… literally, from the moment I woke up each day till the moment I went to bed (including at my job and during my commute), I listened to and/or read personal development books.
But that’s another story for another time…
I didn’t catch “The Secret” fever until after I’d lost the last of my homes during the big banking debacle and ensuing Great Recession of 2009. I finally succumbed to the curiosity all the talk around town had created in me.
I actually really enjoyed and was inspired by the movie, and I had never heard of the Law of Attraction before in my life, so it was all very new to me. I’ve always had a bit of mystical magical thinking anyway, so “The Secret” was right up my alley.
I took everything to heart that was said in that movie. I created the vision boards, did the affirmations and visualizations, and I read all the associated books that revealed themselves along the way, such as “Think and Grow Rich” by Napoleon Hill and “The Science of Getting Rich” by Wallace D. Wattles — along with a PLETHORA of other books, all along the lines of “The Secret” in that they dealt primarily with announcing the various esoteric laws of the universe and how to employ them to get what I desired.
During this time, I was deep, deep in the Great Recession. To make my story brief, at the time it hit, I just happened to be set up to lose everything in a grand fashion. I lost a fiancé, there was a strike that affected my line of work (so I was making about 6% of the income I normally did), had two floods in two separate condos I owned, and by the time the banking system melted down, I lost all the homes I owned (I owned four in total). My line of work was also globalized and I had to compete with 3rd world companies. So the hope that all these esoteric teachings gave me was exactly what I needed at the time. It really was, because otherwise, my life had become very bleak.
But Did The Law Of Attraction Actually Work?
In any case, being as dedicated I was to every single thing “The Secret” and all the related books touted, I was perplexed by how little success I was getting at it. I was one of those people who did go to the car lot and test drive the expensive car I had my hopes set on. I feng shui’d my house to bring in a new mate, new money, happy relations… you name it. I had the affirmations. The vision boards everywhere. The gratitude journals. Since I had done A, B and C so well, why wasn’t I getting results?
I honestly don’t know. I had a dear friend for whom it worked like a charm. She had ridiculous success and I had baffling failures. There was nothing really wrong in my approach or application of the precepts… it just wasn’t working for me… at… all… I had so many “almost success” moments that ended in a dive off the cliff, I was afraid to even try the Law of Attraction anymore because obviously, I was attracting some really horrible things into my life!
So I Put It To Rest For A Bit
Although I still remained fascinated by the whole premise of all these so-called universal laws I had learned about and become obsessed with, I took a step back because I was gun-shy of another snapback at this point. Every time I would come close to a really big breakthrough, something would happen that would be even worse than if I’d never had the opportunity at all. I got very jaded. Very negative about its efficacy or realness. Whether it was a pipe dream. I wanted to believe it was true, but all the evidence in my life was that it was some trick from hell to frustrate me.
Then one day, I googled “jaded with the law of attraction”
…because I was curious if there were other people out there like me, for whom it didn’t work like it was supposed to.
Lo and behold, the search turned up a really intriguing book called “Becoming Magic” by Genevieve Davis. It seems she had a very similar experience to what I did! She took some of the precepts of “The Secret” and Napoleon Hill and others, but she altered what wasn’t working for her and turned some of the widely accepted precepts on their heads. For example, instead of the widely accepted “magic of thinking big,” she instead touted the “magic of thinking small, and then building on success.” That worked for me. I loved how she threw out the rulebook. Sure, she had utmost respect for the Napoleon Hill book and “The Secret,” but she wasn’t stuck to every jot and tittle. She tested her new twists on her own life by measuring her own results, and adjusted them until they worked! It got me to wondering about the bigger picture…
I wonder if I tossed out the rulebook, if that would work for me too?
And so, I tried her style of expressing the so-called Law of Attraction. And you know what? It worked for me! FINALLY! It wasn’t a new set of rules either… It was more like taking a principal and adjusting the practice of it to where it will work in your life instead of bending your life to fit a one-size-fits-all principal.
I’m going to give you a weird analogy here. I have never really had much of a waist. Even when I’ve been super skinny, I just don’t have that hourglass thing a lot of women have. Consequently, a ton of women’s clothing doesn’t fit me properly because it cuts in so drastically at the waist. Even if it’s elastic, if they still make the waistline cut in, it hurts and I can’t wear it. Might as well put a tourniquet around my internal organs. In any case, I have come to prefer almost everything with a drawstring. And you know why my weird analogy fits?
Because life is not “one size fits all.” You need to put a drawstring on it.
Those principals in “The Secret” are inspiring, and the termed “laws of the Universe” do still make a lot of sense to me in general. But in my real, every-day life, I had to adjust the APPLICATION of them in order to get any kind of positive results. I had to toss the rule book.
And from all this, I gained a very valuable lesson: no matter how popular or widely accepted (or trendy) any concept is, it’s not necessarily going to be the right fit for me. Or for you. For example, a traditional job hasn’t been a good fit for me since around 2004 when I (back then) became an independent contractor and struck out on my own. There was a peculiar mental twist I had that, whenever I was traditionally employed, I came to resent my employers. I would always come to view them with disdain and wouldn’t give them my best. But the moment I became independent, those same “clients” (not employers) were now who I wanted to please 110% of the time, because it was a matter of my name and reputation. It made me bring my A-Game.
Most of the people in the world fit well in a traditional job. But what if, like me, you’re not a “one size fits all” kind of person?
Simply put, the accepted path of modern life is that you grow up, finish high school, hopefully go to college, spend a ton of money on a degree, get into a certain job, and stay there… only moving laterally, if at all, until you’re around retirement age, and *hopefully* by then, you’ve got enough in your 401k and your employer is still afloat and you’ve got some sort of ability financially to retire.
When you think about it, you bet at tremendous risk on the viability of your career 40 years from now. What if the ladder you’re climbing is against the wrong wall? What if it’s a creative job and you get totally burnt out? What if it’s a technical job, and the requirements of constantly learning new coding language finally exceed your ability to keep up? I don’t know about you, but this is where I see the need to toss the rulebook out and bend the principal to fit your life.
“The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers.”
― M. Scott Peck
Pain is a really good motivator. And for me, pain led me to bend the principles and toss the rulebook on life after my career/material possessions took the nosedive in the Great Recession. What that meant was building a business of my own that would fit my life. It took awhile to wade through all the scams out there, and to also go through teaching from gurus that… while their instruction was pretty good, it really only covered a tiny piece of what I needed to know to be successful. Maybe that “Becoming Magic” book helped me to finally work the Law of Attraction in my favor, but I finally found a legitimate online business model that has helped me put a “drawstring waist” on my totally non- “one size fits all” lifestyle.
So, are you disappointed or jaded by all that stuff in “The Secret” and did it not work for you either? Are you one of those people who do better when they toss out the rulebook? What would that look like for you… in your life… Are you a one size fits all kind of person; a “job with a boss” kind of person, or do you want something more… custom-made for you? Designed by you?
Well, maybe the Law of Attraction is really working for you after all, because you found your way here and are reading this. I’m going to wrap this up by saying:
- Toss your rulebook
- Invent your own practical applications of the principles in life so that they work in FOR you
- If you’re not a one size fits all person, don’t try to be anyone else but yourself. “Put a drawstring” on your approach to work
- Design a business to fit your life. Not a job in the same mold with everyone else.
Join me. I’ve found an online business system that’s legit and as flexible as a drawstring. Click here to get a free 7 Day Video Series about it and a risk-free opportunity to try it out.